I lived with depression for decades – until my Asperger’s diagnosis explained it all
After a lifetime of saying the wrong thing and obsessing over road signs, author Tom Cutler finally received a medical opinion that made sense.
It was 4.30am on a dark September morning and I was suddenly awake. I knew straight away that something was wrong.
The house was quiet and I could hear the steady breathing of my wife in bed beside me, but I was feeling extremely strange. My pulse was pounding fast, I felt hot and cold all over, my skin was prickling and I was sweating like a runner.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. I don’t express emotion on the whole, but tears began running down my nose, mingling with the rivulets of sweat. I drank some water. All at once something very bad happened: I was overtaken by the alarming conviction that I was about to die. The sensation was real and frightening. This was it.
I shook my wife’s arm. “Wake up!” I gasped. “I think there’s something wrong with me. Something’s seriously wrong.”
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I saw this in the Guardian a couple of weeks back, and it was discussed on the NAS community forum. There have been times when I have felt tempted to write a book along similar times, but Tom probably has quite a lot more showmanship than myself. (Not too surprisingly, for instance, it seems he is a member of the Handlebar Society.)We see Sarah’s name in this article, so I’m just wondering if Tom would ever be available for support group or conference activities.
The photo with this article is fascinating. I would love to caption it as something like ‘Life in a Brighton living room’. I’m not going to try and make any connections here, for fear that I might connect two people who have nothing in common. Although perhaps they do! 😉